I have found several “perfect” or “guaranteed,” if amusing, methods for giving up smoking. One good one is to take 3 deep breaths every time you think you want to light up. That’s a 3-day cure. Another is to drink a full glass of water every time you light up. Oooops, meant to say “DRINK A FULL GLASS OF WATER EVERY TIME YOU think you want to LIGHT UP! That one makes me nervous just to think about; but it may be perfect for those who think drinking water cures everything, masochists, and people who are so bored with their work that trips to the water cooler and the restroom are all that keep them awake.

Another one for the masochists: I am reading a book (TEN BIG ONES, Janet Evanovich, 2004) where one of the characters is trying to quit swearing because of “the little dudes” on the school bus he drives, and he has a rubber band on his wrist which he snaps every time he says a bad word (well, one the school folks would consider bad, anyway).

By the way, this is a second edition, for the ever-expanding and popular medium of e-books or e-publication, so I will not be able to resist a lot of editing, and will throw in some comic relief (often relies on the sado/masochistic, but very gymnastic, Dick Van Dyke fall over the hassock) for your entertainment. Cost of this e-book is very low, you can laugh (or cry) yourself out of smoking or whatever (you fill in the blank______?!?!?!).

There are methods that cost money, hypnosis, behavior modification (staple in the ear for weight loss, smoking one cigarette after another right over a full ashtray until supposedly you’re so sick of them you’ll never smoke again, an electric shock every time you light up, patches, gum, the list goes on. And a pricey but good “relief from the symptoms of” (euphemism for cure, look at your aspirin label) for drugs, chocolate, smoking, and pains in your stomach, I still eat chocolate, but the prickly pains went away (stress).

Like so many other things in life, they don’t always work for very long (unless you, yourself have unconsciously incorporated the method in this book!), and the one thing you can figure on being guaranteed is that $1 to $500 of your money is gone forever (if weight is the problem, and you did liposuction, a LOT more than that, and the weight can come back, more than you had before). Meanwhile, you’re back at the cigarette machine, where, incidentally, the price has just jumped another dime or quarter. One could just give it up as a stupid habit. Many have. We all marvel and don’t understand it, but it is the closest thing to the method I am suggesting, which usually doesn’t appeal to those of us who think too much (we only do that when giving up a habit, not when starting it). Unless it is something like kinky sex, which usually involves talking the recalcitrant partner into it, or plain or fancy bullying. If it strikes you as kinky, it ain’t natural, don’t do it!!!

I will explain a little later why I believe most of the above methods only work when you have something else going for you besides what you think you are doing, and if you can become aware of it, your success will be assured!

But first, let’s establish why you are here. You picked this up, most likely, for one of the following reasons: Cute picture on the cover also you might check it out for comic relief, see more comedy in other books at www.quicksitemaker/members/rdwdtreewoman .

You’re an Unsmoker, you don’t mind at all if I tell you that you are terrific because of it, and you are searching for reasons and solutions: reasons why people smoke, and solutions as to how you can be with people and not have to unwillingly “surrogate smoke” right along with them in exchange for the pleasure of their otherwise delightful company. (But are they, in fact, all that delightful???)

Incidentally, all people and animals who don’t smoke will be referred to as “Unsmokers” throughout the book as the unquestioned heroes and heroines of reason and consideration. However, you Unsmokers will have to line up with the smokers, temporarily, and consider yourself one of them if you are here to shed some habit other than smoking, or if one occurs to you while you read this. You’re an Unsmoker and you want to check it out before giving it to a smoker. Thank you, and please reread item #2 above.

You’re a smoker and you want to gain some insight into how to be more considerate of your Unsmoker friends and how they see you. Thank you for seeing another’s point-of-view!

You’re a smoker and you would like to cut down or quit, and you think I can give you an easy answer. Also, you want to start collecting your $9,000 (or whatever the amount is you would spend between now and the age of 70), prize from yourself. And that was the figure 27 years ago.

You have any kind of habit that you would like to change. See item #2 above.

You’re a critic. See item #2 above and take a number. Also, see my other books at www.quicksitemaker/members/rdwdtreewoman None of these reasons are bad. They all sound good to me. You are probably intelligent and creative enough to think up some others. Also, I am willing to add more reasons or even give Unsmokers a different name. E-mail suggestions okay.

This was written for all of those reasons. I also want to experiment with my website. The book is priced very low, $2.95, I think, for some advice and some comedy, no cover charge, no 2 drinks per person, ….. and remember me favorably when you see my name again, so I am especially interested in giving you something that you will find to be worth much, much, MUCH more than you paid.

If you are an Unsmoker, you are terrific because of it, and this will provide you with reasons and solutions, a method for solving other problems in life, and is great to recommend to your smoker friends. (When they are ready for it, but don’t give it to them free, make them pay the whole $2.95, or they won’t think it’s worth anything.)

And they get some comedy. Anybody here who doesn’t remember Steve Martin’s smoking routine? Best of Steve Martin. He gives up something else in the story that makes him blow up like a balloon. Picture it. Smell is another sense involved here.

It’s not just meant to make you feel smug and superior and right. You have Will power, they don’t. Will is hard to build from scratch. It’ll cost you lunch if you want the way to do that.

Being right doesn’t keep smoke out of your face. You still have to do the hard part. You still have to choose your priorities and attitudes. See Chapter V. And if you are a no nonsense person, and don’t like the humor or the pictures, skip to Chapter III for how it really happened to me.

If you are a smoker, this provides you with some insight into how the Unsmoker feels about you. Not all bad, I promise. They choose to be with you, after all. In 1977 I made the statement that “my last boyfriend was a chain smoker (still is, I guess)) and now I’m trying to get a first date with a really super guy who, incidentally, smokes.” (I wouldn’t be that open-minded today!!!)

I will tell you how I happened to quit, and how you can, too. It’s not original, just something we do normally and don't always realize it. Other people have quit smoking and done many other things the same way, although they may not realize it. (Observe success and mimic it.)

The principle behind it is one that works for you every moment of your life, awake or asleep. It works against you part of the time, but not too much or you wouldn’t be here. Once you understand it, you may choose to consciously use it all the time for other things.(! ! !)

I deal with smoking specifically, but I encourage you to relate the ideas and methods to any other habit you want to change. It is attitude. I handle it this way because I found that, after quitting the one habit, that others seemed to follow. The method is explained, as it relates to smoking, as thoroughly as possible.

Unsmoker Country

Kids grow up and some go away to college. This one did. She has become aware that there are many more people in the world besides her own parents, family, and friends, and she thinks she can change the world. I think she can, too. (She became an Engineer, and works at it successfully to this day. She has never smoked.)

Thank you for not smoking When you are a smoker, your own kids are the worst. They insult you, they make you feel guilty, they cough, they say you should quit for the sake of those who care about you, and then they run off to Grandma’s for the week. They lie. See my comedy routine on THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN for further behavior of children that builds character, your character.

So if you decide to quit, you really have to quit for the same reason you go on living. Because you want to go on living, Babe ! ! ! I’d be happy to explain the theory to you, free, in five minutes, over coffee, but a serious problem, such as smoking and giving it up seems to require some thought, privacy, and premeditation on your part, some solitude, and some time to think. That is why you obtained this material, and why you are tucked away somewhere alone with it, instead of with me, looking for mistakes and a way to eliminate another possibility, and even hoping against hope that this is the answer.

So many gurus, so little time. But, credit where credit is due, you are the one who will do the hard work, you are the walker, and you get most, no, make that YOU GET ALL of the credit for letting your subconscious find the path for you.

Also, there are no restrictions on your behavior while you read. You may snack, go to the john, chew gum, adjust the thermostat, nap, call a friend for a second opinion, wear anything you like, walk the cat (one of my favorites for avoiding or meditating, takes your mind off whatever you are working on) smoke or don’t smoke, as you wish. I had more pictures, but I am eliminating them, too much like slides of a vacation, not something you can get excited about, and the photography is not good enough to stand on its own. Choose pictures of your own to make the Unsmoker look sexy, macho, positive, considerate, loving, rational, and strong. And alive and well!

The smoker is all of those things, too. But it is not smoking that makes him that way, contrary to what you see in the cigarette ads. Smoking detracts from those things.

You will also get some idea how the other person sees it, perhaps differently than you think he or she sees it, whether you smoke or are an Unsmoker.

I used to smoke.

One day in November, 1977,
I discovered a way to quit
smoking that didn’t cost me
anything, and turned out to
be unbelievably easy.

Author, Jane G. Stilwell, shown here not smoking, lives in Arizona, USA. She attended UCI where she received a B.A. in English with emphasis on Creative Writing in 1971. She has worked since that time as a Technical Writer/Editor, Creative Writer, Literacy Tutor, and is a Beginner Webmaster, with construction of three websites so far.